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Frustrated at God Because of Daily Problems


This time someone is counseling me!

Hi.. Long time...Hope all is well..... i have a book I want you to read (actually God wants you to read it) .....God impelled me to read it and is directing me to write you as well......It will speak POWERFULLY to you .. as always with God.. you will find this to be in a SIMPLE and easy way. It is a deep book....but simple.and a quick read.....you will love this book..pls trust me..trust in God... and do all that you can to get it.....Again....hope this finds you healthy, safe and surrendering to God's will.......Blessings. Ann Marie in OmahaNE.......the Pilgrim you assisted in Prague):) The Book is:" The way of a Pilgrim and the Pilgrim continues His Way" Translated by Helen Bacovcin and forward by Walter j.Ciszek,S.J. (A Spiritual classic from Russia).........Do all that you can to get this.....or let me know and I will assist you depending on where you are....

Hi Anne,

sorry for the late reply but was off treeplanting in Canada due to lack of funds. Quite the grueling job. Will store this email and see if I can get the book somewhere. Guess I can't download the text to my computer or something? I usually do all my reading from my computer. Have a good one, Karel

checked out www.gutenberg.org/catalog and seems it is still undercopyright. I found it available in a lot of places online for purchases, but at the moment I'm too tight of cash and counting every penny. Hopefully this will all change at some point. I have saved your email and will download it as soon as my situation turns for the better. Thanks for the tip!

 Karel

It is vitally crucial to plant deep roots......:) If you need help locating the book pls let me know...you will love it......Love, Joy, Peace......and many Blessings...Ann Marie

Hi....I will keep you in my prayers..KEEP YOUR FAITH! BELIEVE IN YOURSELF and SURRENDER ALL to God!!! ...."As a man thinkith"......You will draw and attract to that same level where your mind dwells.....Keep it on high levels of thought and prayer!!.............."God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I can not change; The courage to change the things that I can ; and the wisdom to know the difference. " God Bless YOU!..........Ann

Yah, I have to admit I’ve been struggling with just that for a longer period of time. I’ve managed to knock out much of my ambitions. I seem to have neverending drive, so it frustrates me when it is not put to good use and I am struggling in failure. But I see that I am building up a good foundation. I hate waste, so the thought of spending so much time on certain things without generating fruit bothers me. Other times my computer harddisk fails and I lose a lot of work and data. I feel I have one stumbling block after another. On the other hand, I realize that in the past I have become arrogant and that God needs to keep whittling down my pride before he can give me any success. So I just plod along hoping that I am working towards something useful. For the longest time I have not prayed for my own success, or for myself, but always that I can become useful to God, and to whittle down my pride etc. Sometimes it seems he is way too silent, and my faith wavers. It is difficult. And I cannot seem to let go fully. There are simply things I want to do in my life. I can agree it is selfishness, but also I have prayed that I would like to move that direction towards fully letting go. But such a sacrifice is something that someone must do willingly. Like Jesus did. But I it is not an easy thing to do, so it is one of the things I pray God to help me with. Perhaps everything I am doing is part of some master plan and the pieces of the puzzle will fall into place. Once I have attained some nirvana or frame of mind, and become able to fully let go. In the meantime, my faith occasionally waivers I struggle on. There are so many things I want to accomplish, including contributing to charity and doing good. Sometimes I feel so useless and an utter failure. But perhaps that is necessary to help whittle down my pride. Well, the struggle continues! Thanks you the encouraging words, k

 

> Hi "K":)

Yah, that’s my new little thing. Kind of like portraying myself as meek and less significant by not writing out my full name. As if I’m fancying it as some exercise to whittle down my ego. Or perhaps I’m just trying to be cute and funny.

We are all works in progress....pilgrims on a journey. I feel that God repeats the lessons in our lives until WE learn the lessons. They repeat until WE SEE and become fully aware of what it is that HE is teaching us......they repeat constantly until WE SEE! (you see , what you see, when you see it!) Karl, never having met you, not knowing you, I feel that you have changed.:) Please do not presume that I know anything about you .....I am just a very honest, intuitive, spiritual and discerning person and speak from my heart. What I feel is very imperative for anyone is to pray unceasingly. That keeps up our connection to God and builds our faith."Pray in order to believe;Believe in order to pray." The Our Father is the perfect prayer ...as is repeating as a mantra simply the name of "Jesus" or "Jesus have Mercy on me".....pray it over and over all day.......until it becomes "unceasing.......this is the gist of the book I spoke to you about. The other thing is inner healing........it is CRITICAL. Healing ourseves of things we carry along with us that set up REAL blocks in our lives.........forgiveness,or lack thereof of self and others, healing of memories of past hurts, traumas, things we may bury.....we have to face our pains and not bury it , or they will bury us.......as they erupt and block the flow of God.......... It is not selfish for you to have high energy....that is a gift from God....it is not selfish to want to do things, to have ambition, nothing that you desire is a bad thing......You appear to be your own worst enemy...love thyself....heal thyself... IF you see yourself as a failure so shall you be......you are not! What little I know is that you are not that. I truly believe that we are the sins of our fathers.....we need to re claim ourselves as the children that GOD created us to be......We inherit a family tree of generational blockages....and we acquire more as we live in this world.......I truly do believe that we need to go back in QUIET to listen to that small still voice that is God and ask HIM who we are.......HE will then direct our path........When the paths to God are blocked.......we spin, race, turn, run.....in millions of scattered and distracted ways....fragmented...mis directed....when we STOP, LISTEN...and FOLLOW......our life regains meaning, purpose and gains fluid pathways of SOLID direction. Ask God to take you back in your life to a time that you felt WHOLE, HAPPY, and at PEACE........look at yourself, your body, your weight, your life.......how you felt......go back there.........ask God to show you what to heal....heal your family tree that consists perhaps of genrational ravages and blocks innocently given to you...we pass on money...we pass on heirlooms.....we also pass on geneology.......God wants us to heal and to be whole and rid of these hindrances........ASK and you SHALL receive.........ASK not for what YOU want.......ask God to lead you as HE wants........when we see, and are opened and free from any bonds of anger, unforgiveness, pain......we heal.....spiritually, physically and emotionally. So often we want to run from pain and sadness.......when we go to root causes then we get well......and God opens the rivers and the flood banks and we can surge........Love God, love yourself.........We live in this world but not of it......You have a good mind, a good heart, your vision is good your wants and needs good.........pride and ego are not of God and truly, they do work against us......YET! the tenasity, the energy and the drive are not bad.......they are gifts! You are no failure....you do NOT need to "plod" along......We change from the HEART out......I am praying for you.......understand this..that IF we carry any of the "sins" with us..inside us.....and want to change(and you do) these things hold us in a state of bondage unless we admit them and release ourselves to GOd to take them all......all sin, all unforgiveness, all the people we have hurt and who have hurt us.......unless we GO INTO THE EYE OF THE STORM and face ourselves..our pain...and ADMIT IT, and then surrender it all.....to GOD...we are blocked from healing......no too that Satan is REALLY alive and well in our world....he wants you to feel guilt, pain, shame, unforgiveness....to feel as a failure........none of this is of GOD........be really aware of these RED FLAGS and say the name of JESUS..........."Satan..get behind me".....PRAY PRAY PRAY.......Greater is God within you than he that is in the world".........when your computer breaks.......(it truly is an evil attack against you) don't cave it(really difficult) but LAUGH...pray....walk away....don't let it defeat you......say "thank you God" when those things happen.........it works! The harder you work to get closer to God and your FREE life...the harder the opposition attacks........its real.......have faith ..pray...God BLess..Ann

Thank you for the words of inspiration. It is good for me to discuss these things with someone, as there is no one else. Even in Prague I would not have any believers around me. And if I did, I usually had to be the voice of reason and could not find good feedback to any of my own concerns.

I’ll try to respond in some stream of thought. I am not saying I am firmly convinced of any of it, but I believe talking to someone about one’s frustrations can be a healing process.

You have a lot of good points below, but I think you missed your mark concerning the family issues. I did use to have an issue with my stepfather, as he was a blackbelt, short tempered man of old school thought who lived with his mother for 30 years and, coming into our household when I was a 14 year old tyrant, thought that by marrying my mother everything would just fall into place and me and my sister would become diligent and obedient to his every command. Well, you can imagine what a war and hell it became. Very long story, but I’ve put that all behind me and we have a good relationship now.

But on my father’s side a recent issue has surfaced whereby I asked for their help but instead received the harshest of judgements. Long story, but my feeling is that ‘that family’ would rather keep me at arms length. I am a foreign element in their clean and pristine Christian family. Or there are other reasons. It doesn’t really matter. After all, Jesus himself said we should be prepared to leave our families to serve God. They upset me, but it doesn’t have to be a great thorn in my existence. I can live without family and all that.

My greatest issue is against the silence and apparent inaction of God himself. But I do realize that he has saved my skin so many times these last two years. I am frustrated because I see no progress. On the other hand, what I am doing is in a very competitive world: trying to get to the top of google in the translation industry. I have seen good progress and I have built up a good foundation. I find the work interesting and I am learning constantly, and one day I hope to sell what I’ve learned as a service (SEO, or search engine optimization). In fact, we can say that my prayers have been answered, because for the longest time I have grown bored with managing translations and prayed that I’d rather just work on developing my company. Which is essentially what I am doing full time, since I have no paying work. When I do get paying work I don’t like it. I’m just a big ball of complaints. Then I think of all the poor sods around the world and must consider myself in the top 99.95% of humanity, considering I work when I want to, enjoy what I do, and live on a beach in perfect climate. Yet I want to get involved in doing something good, and have been praying constantly for that. I never pray for a Mercedes Benz, as Janis Joplin would sing, but always for help against my pride and arrogance, and to become a useful tool of God. I read your prayer suggestion and have to disagree a bit. I do not think it is all about words but rather the sincerity of heart. I once walked into a church and there sat a bunch of woman, dressed in black and sitting next to one another, forever repeating some Latin. They seemed half dead, holding onto a string of life. The Word IS Life, and Spirit, as the bible says. But many believers make dead out of the Word. Making silly literal interpretations of the bible and going down a path of self-righteousness, missing the entire point, which is to love, love, love. Not a salvation by works, which is pride based.

I know I have a lot of skills, and have accomplished a lot, and can accomplish so much more, but I get frustrated that my existence has been hanging on the last thread of a shoestring for so long – two years, since I hit the road. Then I think about Moses, who killed a man out of anger but for justice and to defend the weak. But God didn’t want that sort of justice, so he sent Noah into the desert for forty years, perhaps to meditate and learn humility, and only once he was old and weak did he call him to represent him and to perform great miracles on his behalf. So that the Glory could be attributed to God alone and not to any visible strength of a young and passionate Moses. Or I think of Job, my Christian family on my dad’s side judging me in immediate naivety, that I am suffering because God is punishing me, because I am living a vagrant lifestyle on a beach. Such a simple perspective and they really do not see much beyond the ‘obvious’, or deep into my character, or God’s action in my life, which they have dared to presume and interpret.

I guess what frustrates me the most is the apparent lack of ‘God action’, as I like to call it. I have also not been feeling the Spirit much or at all for a long time. I have tried different measures of obedience, asking, and all I get back is silence. God is omniscient and can cause mountains to move, so certainly he can speak to me in one way or another. I feel his silence is on purpose, and it is driving me batty sometimes, to frustration. Yes, I see that he saves my skin from time to time, since I am so close to subsistence, and I am grateful for those times. Perhaps he is just working on my pride and soul, as I have been praying.

When I think about it, I really shouldn’t complain about my life at all. I have it pretty cushy indeed, and I enjoy most of my work. I find one doesn’t really need more than the subsistence wages. Many people get caught up in a frenzy of believing they need more goodies around themselves, and spend their lives slaving away for the privilege. But they are not necessarily happier, and they are destroying the planet in the process. I guess my greatest frustration is I want to do MORE. Do something good. Achieve something good. Get involved with people more. Maybe I am counting the ticks of the clock towards my death and feeling anxious that I didn’t do my homework, and will be soon facing God at the pearly gates with empty palms.

Well, that’s the stream for today I guess. Again, thank you for the opportunity to discuss these issues with someone. It helps me. little bitty k

Over the weekend she sent me (drawn from http://www.wickedlocal.com/norwood/news/lifestyle/columnists/x544093522):

This Sunday Catholic Churches heard an interesting text of scripture from St. Paul’s letter to the Romans. This text reads: “Brothers and sisters: We know that all things work for good for those who love God.” (Romans 8:28)

Now think about this for a minute, “All things work for the good for those who love God.” Really? I burnt the beans cooking supper last night, my son got another speeding ticket, that big rain storm flooded my basement, and the “check engine” light just popped on in my car (which should affect the inspection sticker I need). All things work for good for those who love God? I don’t think so. Yet, Saint Paul usually knows what he’s talking about.

Back in the ’70s there was a book by Merlin Caruthers entitled “Prison to Praise” where he used this little Bible text as the basis for a thriving prison ministry. What Caruthers did in prison was rather startling. He asked prisoners to take God at His word and claim this scripture as truth for their lives. He asked them to thank God for being in prison!

Caruthers told the prisoners that if all things worked for the good for those that love God, and they loved God, then they should be able to thank God for being in prison. He taught them to pray: “Thank you God for my arrest; thank you for my being here in jail, because I know you love me and I love you. Now show me how this will work for my good, and your glory.”

Slowly, but dramatically, he began to see changes in the prisoners’ lives. The prayer of the prisoners began to change from pure petition, asking for things, to reflect an expectant faith that was rewarded. “Lord God, I thank you for my imprisonment. I thank You I am behind bars, because I know all things work for the good for those that love You and You can use even this.” and God did. Over and over again, men who had been in the midst of despair found hope. Men who were full of fear found courage. Prisoners began to meet together, starting Bible studies, prayer groups, faith sharing, and God was faithful.

You don’t have to be in prison for this text to become a reality in your life. If all things work for the good for those who love God – and you love God – then even the bad things we experience in life can be used to grow our faith.

So, I pray; “Lord God I thank you that my ‘check engine’ light is on and my inspection sticker is due. I know you love me and I love You. Show me now how you will be glorified through this.”

The car passed its inspection. I came home and told my wife who exclaimed, “Praise God, see how He takes care of us!” and God is glorified through my “check engine” light.

Now be warned – God is not a magic “Gimme-Box,” and typically God gives us what we need, rather than what we want. But God does indeed love us and wants our faith to grow. In the midst of your trials or troubles, rejoice in your love of God and God’s love of you and then give Romans 8:28 a try.

Later, after I added this correspondence to these pages and linked to it from other pertinent pages as part of my regular search engine optimization work, I would always stumble on the below text, which I thought was rather fitting:

RO 8:20 For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope [21] that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.

A relating story and source of inspiration might be the surviving 911 tales.


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