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Internet Sex
Sir, My name is X and I am from Y. My email address is. I am a 19 year old male. I am a
good student academically and have a fairly good physique and brain. I am in Computer
science. I aim to become a Celebrity in Cricket. I want to become someone so that after I am
gone I must be remembered. I have the capability and the strength of being no.1 in life.
But since recently my life is totally out of track. I have failed this year in studies and
even i am not good in cricket. The reason being that I have become sex and internet
addict. I have no other habits. I don't drink at all and don't smoke even. I am a Virgo (my
b'day is 18 Sep 1980). These days i search for a lot of sex sites on the net. I realise that
I am doing something wrong but can't control it. I mean to say that even though I have the
guilt feeling I am just unable to stop myself. I have no control in myself left and have
hence been shattered by lack of confidence. I am very upset and have no one to discuss my
problems. Hence I have approached u sir. Please help me out. I beg u. Otherwise it will be
too late for me. I want to change my lifestyle but I have become so weak mentally that I
have no faith and confidence left in me. I know that if I am mentally strong I can win the
world and hence I beg u to please tell me what to do to become mentally strong. (Some of my
friends suggested meditation techniques but it hasn't helped much) U can help me in some
different meditation techniques. I cannot approach a doctor. It is not possible for me to
consult anyone. Hence I have approached u for help so that we can solve this problem on the
net itself through emails. I want to be very strong mentally because IN A HEALTHY
MIND, RESTS A HEALTHY SOUL!! Since recently I have become addicted to the internet also
up to some extend. Sir please tell me how to be stable minded and strong mentally. Without
this I will be nowhere. I know i am taking a lot of your precious time but please sir help
me out of this trauma. I am really helpless. God has sent me to u for help. Please Sir guide
me properly towards my goals.. I have become so uncontrollable that now days for internet I
even bunk my studies and my cricket (even cricket which i like the most). At night before
going to bed i am filled with guilt and anger but the next day the same mistakes are
occurred. I just can't stop myself even though i know it is gonna let me down. I want u
sir, to help me from this. I must be so strong that I must have total command on myself. I
must be capable of stopping myself confidently from going on wrong tracks. I must be
capable of applying brakes where there is a wrong way. I hope u understand my problem and
my requirements from u sir. I want to be regular, sincere, strong mentally and physically
and be a confident man. I don't want to end up like Bill Clinton who ended up in a
disaster for being not strong mentally. (just big mistake can lead to disaster). I must be
so strong mentally that even if the sexiest female on earth comes and tries to seduce me, I
must be able to stop myself from having sex. Sir, please remember that only sex is not
responsible for my downfall. Sex, Videogames, Desire of seeing and having sex, Laziness, lack of
hard work, commitment, devotion, determination are also factors responsible. But sex and the
internet contribute to at least 60% of my down fall. The other factors will automatically
improve if these two addictions get improved. I don't want to get addicted by anything new
now (like smoking etc..). I know I have taken too much of your valuable time but please
help me out Sir. Please don't neglect this letter. I will be greatly indebted to u for your
kind help. Thanking You and waiting for your quick and positive response, I remain,
Faithfully Yours, X
_____________________________________________
Dear X,
you do not need to apologise for taking any of my time. The time I have allocated for this purpose is a mere sacrifice of my resources which I wish to dedicate to God and through which I would never think I could ‘pay’ God back for the insurmountable way I am indebted to him and Jesus regarding what they have done for me in my life.
The first line that came to my mind when reading your letter was the following:
RO 7:4 So, my brothers, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit to God. [5] For when we were controlled by the sinful nature, the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in our bodies, so that we bore fruit for death. [6] But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code.
RO 7:7 What shall we say, then? Is the law sin? Certainly not! Indeed I would not have known what sin was except through the law. For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, "Do not covet." [8] But sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, produced in me every kind of covetous desire. For apart from law, sin is dead. [9] Once I was alive apart from law; but when the commandment came, sin sprang to life and I died. [10] I found that the very commandment that was intended to bring life actually brought death. [11] For sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, deceived me, and through the commandment put me to death. [12] So then, the law is holy, and the commandment is holy, righteous and good.
RO 7:13 Did that which is good, then, become death to me? By no means! But in order that sin might be recognized as sin, it produced death in me through what was good, so that through the commandment sin might become utterly sinful.
RO 7:14 We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. [15] I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. [16] And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. [17] As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. [18] I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. [19] For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing. [20] Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
RO 7:21 So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. [22] For in my inner being I delight in God's law; [23] but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. [24] What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? [25] Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.
You mentioned several times that you would like to be strong in your will and overcome this problem. I have a different solution. Perhaps by relying on your own strength and will to bring order and cleanliness in your life, God is showing you that this is not the best way to go about it. I think that you should therefore not rely on your own strength but try to surrender your life to Jesus.
Here is another line:
2CO 12:7 To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. [8] Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. [9] But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
The most easiest solution I believe is to simply ask Jesus and God to help you in this situation. Ask Jesus for his powerful spirit to help you overcome the temptation of your flesh. It is certainly also good to use your will, because we are after all creatures of free choice and we must use our will in making our own decisions and in working to make them a reality. But we should try to surrender our will to Jesus. Perhaps God is showing that by your own strength you cannot succeed fully in life and that you should be more dependent on God and Jesus and that you should perhaps have them in your life more. Perhaps God has placed this thorn in your flesh precisely for the reason that you like to depend more on your own strength than on the grace of Jesus Christ, which is more in line with God’s plan in our lives.
I too had and have similar problems but find that when I pray to God for his help to overcome these weakness, the thorn is removed and the spirit that replaces it is abundantly sufficient to be fully satisfied and not have the desire for these things any longer. It is only after some time of living in this polluted world and after some time when my natural pride rises again that I forget God my great creator enough that I let the old diseased thoughts grow in my heart again.
So, like all of us, I live a life struggling against the desires of the flesh, for...
GAL 5:16 So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. [17] For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. [18] But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.
GAL 5:19 The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; [20] idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions [21] and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like.
GAL 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, [23] gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. [24] Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. [25] Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. [26] Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
Therefore, I suggest you pray to God and Jesus. Pray for them to help you out of this. Pray for their powerful spirit to come into your life and remove this yoke for you. Pray to God for guidance in your life so that you will always want to seek a closer and purer relationship with him. Pray that your mind will remain focused on God and have the faith to believe in his power and that he will make everything all right. Pray that you will not be tempted, so that you will not be distracted again from what you should truly be focused on, which is serving God and giving your life to Jesus. Pray that Satan will not get into your brain and build up your pride, for Satan is so much smarter than we are and “he is king of the proud”. Pray in all these ways and work to surrender your life to God. Meditate on this. Pray while you are walking to school, standing on the bus. Pray to increase God’s spirit in you, and so on, and so on, and so on.
Always glad to be of service to God and to man in helping them have a closer relationship to God, in being happy and making this world a happier place.