What is God

In the beginning <link to study explaining creation> there was God, a spiritual being of energy. A conglomeration of all spiritual energy. He thought, "Let 'us' (this conglomeration of all spiritual life) or me make things more interesting", so he exploded himself, initiating the big bang and converting much of this energy into matter.
The matter and energy exploded outwards from the center, traveling at fantastic speeds. As the particles of matter exploded and traveled outwards, the natural force of gravity and weak and strong nuclear force started to attract these individual particles to one another. And hence the individual particles started to collect together into larger ones. Like water emptying down a drain, the force of individual particles attracting one another and forming into larger particles created a spiral, rotational movement of a larger cluster of these conglomerating particles. In time these spiraling, rotating particles of mass formed into solar systems and individual galaxies. At the center of each solar system (a spinning disk of conglomerating matter) was naturally the largest of its conglomerated masses: the sun. So much conglomerated matter that it's own sheer weight and pressure on its own matter triggers a nuclear reaction, and hence the birth of a sun. Which is essentially matter being burned up into energy and light, this matter propelled outwards from this ball of energy and falling onto our faces, and the plants, and is the source of life energy for the planets which have formed within the solar system. The planets being conglomerations of matter not large enough to trigger the nuclear reaction and become a sun. But the sheer weight and size of these planets is large enough that the weight pressure of matter turns anything below the 3 km thick outer crust into molten lava, or one could say melted rocks. Jupiter, in fact, is so large that it is something between a planet and a sun. It has no hard, outer crust.
The planets have formed along rings surrounding the sun in the centre, the relative distance between these rings and the centre matching the relative distance between frequencies of individual musical notes <link to who discovered this>. This is because the universe, essentially the physical body of God, is a natural and harmonic place. Another great mind of our human history observed that the geometric shapes of subsequently larger polygons (going from the most simple, square box, to a five sided polygon, then to six and so on) fit perfectly within these rings of orbit, starting from the centre outwards <link to> . This is further testimony of the natural and perfect harmony of this evolving universe, the body of a harmonious God.
The sun's light energy falls on the cooled, outer crust surface of the smaller planets, interacting with water, to eventually form life as we know it. God says on the first few pages of the bible, "Let plants form, each according to their kind." Sometimes he uses the word 'let', other times 'create'. The word 'let' therefore allows for a certain degree of self evolution, but we do not know how much God is still involved in this process of evolution, do we? I love nature, which I consider the physical body of God, and I love watching it. I consider God a great painter, and I see his lovely magic and artistic skill every time I observe nature, whether it is the geological formation of upheaved sedimentary layer, weathered away over the millennia to form a sculptured mountain, or a cluster of different types of trees spotting a valley. I see this great harmony in nature, down to the very birdies who whiz through the branches of the trees, from one side of the valley to the other. It is a great and beautiful body of God, teaming with life and love. No wonder that the First Nations first inhabitants of North America would talk about the Great Spirit and treat nature with reverence, learning to live with it and not harm and prostitute it like the great White Barbarian. Who follows his own greed and pride to spread out over the planet like a virus, destroying nature everywhere he goes and corrupting the lives of those natives who were living a simple existence, most often in reverence and respect for nature. This greed and pride is referred to as the beast in the bible, the number 666, which is the trinity of the number 6, representing fallen man, one number less than 7, which represents God.
Now as the life as we know it was evolving on our planet (and who can say to what degree there was "divine intervention", as they are now calling it), God was "hovering over the surfaces of the water", which is our humanity (link to Creation and the theory of evolution), and saw much greed and lust, or the simple instincts that an animal follows for their own self-preservation. In essence, everything was basically meaningless. His initial creation by exploding his light energy into matter evolved as the universe should naturally evolve, but what is the end point? God wanted greater interaction between himself and the forming physical life energy. He wanted some greater purpose to it all than just natural instinct for self preservation of existence. So he took a collection of genes from across mankind and formed Adam, into which he breathed his Spiritual life energy, and this particular man became a "living being". <link to study> Living in terms of containing the spiritual life energy of God. And the purpose of this Adam was to "work the ground", where the ground is essentially the humanity from whose gene pool Adam was created. The end purpose of it all to bring a message to humanity that there is more to "life" than the simple subsistence of our physical existence, or the gratification of our natural inclinations to reproduce in order to maintain our species.
But man, like anything that naturally forms by itself, is corruptible and prone to decay. Like a piece of bread formed in the baker's hand which becomes moldy when left in the sun and eventually decays into the earth for the worms to eat, so is man's natural character. And hence it becomes a struggle between our natural drive for self preservation, personal gratification and selfishness, and God's greater purpose within the scheme of the entire universe and his initial plan to create it.
On the first two pages of the bible and mentioned twice, God says "Let us create man, male and female, and call them man." Now the Hebrew with which much of the Old Testament was originally written has a number for each letter of the alphabet. Apparently when some people pumped some verses of the bible through a computer, taking into consideration the numerical value of each character within the verses, they came out with some figures where the positive and rhyming verses talking about God and love would add up to seven, where the negative verses talking about Satan and the corruption and natural decay of man would add up to six. I can believe this, considering how great God must be to have created the entire universe and be involved on every level of its creation. Who knows what was in the minds of the great prophets as they scribbled their thoughts on paper? Or the first Hebrew people when they assigned numerical values to the characters they were creating? When I read the bible I see a web of intelligence and mastery, certain words symbolizing certain meanings, where the meaning of some words is explained thousands of years later, or earlier, and giving profound meaning to phrases using those words throughout the bible (link to deciphering the bible). It makes only sense that someone as great as God could easily mastermind all this, from the point when the first Hebrew person was assigning a numerical value to each character of the alphabet, to each prophet as they wrote down their scriptures. I myself have reflected on the thoughts that have entered my head over my lifetime, and have deduced that much of them were already completed thoughts. I did not form any of them from scratch, hypothesizing and masterminding them with some purpose, but rather they came to me as complete packages and I only slowly learned to understand them in their entirety. I did not devise these thoughts but they came to my mind, and I slowly understood their genius as I examined them. I therefore deduced that many of these thoughts were provided to me by God, so why not the same by the holy prophets, whose minds were not adulterated by the greed and lust of common man?
These words of God then get translated into different languages, where English, for example, does not have a word to describe neutral sex, like many other languages do. In several English translations of the bible that I have looked at, all of them would clearly say on the first two pages that man was created male and female, in "our" image, and that they shall be called man. Yet in the rest of the bible, wherever it uses the word man, the assumption is he, as is the assumption that God is a He. How could God be a He anyway? Does he have a penis? And therefore my recent revelation and conclusion that God is a spiritual energy without sex, making things much more clear to me now that I perceive God as both a man and a woman. His patriarchal element with a firm hand delivering discipline out of love for us, but on the other hand the neverending grace and forgiveness of a mother who has nurtured us from the very womb.
And such is God's selfless role in the universe and our lives. We may be unbelieving and selfish bastards, yet our lives may be spared in some car accident. We say, "Boy, was I lucky!", not giving thanks to how God may have saved us, yet God is not disgruntled and continues to love us and look after us.
He watches over all of humanity, and all the animals, and every leaf and blade of grass in nature, painting and sculpting the mountains with his artistic and loving hands, looking over his entire creation with the selfless love that radiates from within "him" (sorry, no word in the English language to describe a neutral sex). Perhaps like a little boy who wants to stay up way past bedtime with intense captivation as he continues to work on his model train set, taking care of every wheel, carefully connecting every section of the track so that the train can travel smoothly, and positioning every tree, house and person so that the entire scene is pleasing to the eye.
And there is yet another aspect of God that I have deduced from the bible. "I am the Alpha, the Omega, the beginning and the end. Through me all things were created." "In the eyes of God, a day is like a thousand years." "God IS eternal life." "I have given you the Spirit as a deposit so that you would know that these things WILL come true." Before I came to this conclusion, I was often perplexed how God answered my prayers. Over a period of weeks, months or years, I would be struggling with a certain issue. I would be confronted with certain obstacles, driven to despair in cycles, raised up again, until finally one day I broke down and prayed something. Something which would be answered if, for example, I received a ticket to a certain theatrical presentation. And as I was breaking down after these many years of various trials and tribulations, sitting there on that bench by the bus stop, finally placing my faith in God and asking for this particular thing; while I was sitting there struggling with my own thoughts and desires, and the submission to surrender myself to the will of God and place my faith in him, I might watch how a fellow would be riding his bike, narrowly miss a bus, and watch how all sorts of other events would unfold, to the point that the man on the bike would show up next to me and say, "Hey buddy, I just had one of those arguments with my wife and no longer need these tickets to the theatre. Want them?", JUST at the moment when I broke down and prayed what God had wanted me to pray all this time. This is just an illustration, but these types of events have happened to me numerous times in my life and I could never figure out how it would be possible that these prayers were answered in the way they were, considering the timeline of events required to make them happen, and the fact that they were answered at the time they were. Until it came to me, from the above lines in the bible, that God is not subject to time as we are. Einstein would talk about how time would bend as you approach the speed of light. Since God is the life energy before the big bang, it makes sense that he would not follow his creation and the natural evolution and formation of matter as we would, like observers watching a particle of matter fly by. No, God's entity and spiritual consciousness would remain where it is (although we shouldn't even think of it as some 'location'), while expanding at the same time together with the exploding matter, his consciousness in every particle, everywhere at the same time, at the same time throughout all of time. That is why he knows what will happen in our future, because he's already there! That is how he can answer these prayers, in a way which seems so bizarre and impossible from my perspective. Because he already knows WHEN I will break down. He knows my own character from the inside out. So I have grown to perceive God as someone who stands over a pool of water, holding a stick in his hand, and twirling the stick around the water to form it as he sees fit. If he pokes the stick in the water at a certain location and time in our existence, let us say in a Siberian village in 1487, he can already see the outcome of that poke on a particular mountain in British Columbia, Canada, in 1987. Not only does he probably have the intellect to foresee the outcome of that stick poke earlier in time, but he has the PRIVELEGE of experimentation. Perhaps our consciousnesses exist in only one dimension of the universe, where the other dimensions are failed or scrapped ones from the various experimentations of God. We cannot look around us (in our three dimensional space, with our limited vision which only sees the small spectrum of visible light but not, for example, infra red light, or xrays, or sound waves that some animals on our planet can see or rely on) and apply our limited perception of the world to form some understanding of the awesomeness of God. Like for example painting something so absurd as an old man with a white beard dressed in white cotton shards. We cannot even fathom the expanse of the universe, or fathom other dimensions than the three that we see plainly before us, or consider what happens when we travel at the speed of light, or enter a black hole. These are basic concepts to God, for which reason it is absurd for us to try and figure his character, or how he goes about things, or for what purpose, if we do not allow for the possibility that he encompasses all of time, and all matter, and is in every rock, and the farthest reaches of our own conscience.

And hence concludes my general hypothesis of what God must be like, should I even dare think of such things. But why not? It is just part of my marveling of the world around me, and how God must interact with it, and the splendor of God.
I imagine that the stars will eventually collect into even larger and eventually collapse under their sheer weight into black holes, as is happening in the universe. The super large stars, perhaps a hundred thousand times the size of our own, burn out of energy and collapse in on themselves by their sheer weight. The relatively light weight helium and hydrogen has burned off, the nuclear reaction of this burning sending out life energy to the planets surrounding it, until all that is left are heavy particles. The star collapses in on itself and produces such a massive gravitational force that light cannot escape it. It is a profound thought, and who can say what is happening inside that black hole? We can speculate that it connects to other black holes in the universe, that it bends space, and that perhaps we can travel in this way from one point of the universe to another. Writers and scientists constantly speculate on this issue, or whether the universe will keep expanding or rather stop and eventually collapse in on itself. Or they try to calculate the mass of the newly discovered "black matter", which makes up most of the universe. But I think the answer is quite simple. Anything that explodes itself, turning energy into matter (as physics considers the two easily interchangeable) and expanding outwards, should naturally return back to its original state. The black holes getting ever larger as they continue to suck in surrounding matter, their gravitational force increasing exponentially over time until all matter has been sucked back into itself, the black holes sucking each other until they become one, and we all return back to our creator, whether or not we are already dead, a piece of our decayed matter now a part of some dinasaur's nose of the future, or an atom in a moving river, or a piece of rock on a distant mountain. Including our spiritual energy. All will return back to the creator, as he so mentions in the bible. What we can change though is how we act during the short time of our active lives within the big scheme of the universe. How we interact with God and our environment around us. This is something we should seriously reflect on and not just live to serve our selfish instincts for self-preservation, or the gratification of our fleshly desires.
But back to the collapsing universe, I imagine it is inevitable that it will eventually collapse in on itself. That it is illogical to think that a certain amount of energy can explode itself outwards, converting a portion of its energy into matter, and that any percentage of that matter will continue to float outwards forever, creating space as it does. Time, space and all energy can be wrapped into a single dot before the big bang, so how can we try to imagine space around or outside this dot? Or imagine this dot's location within some three dimensional grid pattern? Where three dimensions wouldn't even exist before the big bang? Lest it was somehow wrapped up within the infinite other dimensions at the same time. Time possibly the fourth dimension, and existing all at once, because there is no space. These are all hypotheses and almost silly to postulate as it is the very character of God or, "What is existence anyway?" Although I am doing it here, aren't I?
But it seems illogical to consider that the matter will keep expanding outwards, creating space as we know it while it does, but rather that any defined amount of light energy which would convert itself into a certain percentage of matter could not keep expanding into the limitless unknown but rather eventually collapse back in on itself. The natural progression of life, with a beginning and an end. "I am the Alpha AND the Omega." This implies that there is an end. And I imagine that the universe will collapse back in on itself, only to explode outwards again, the cycle of life continuing on forever, as it always does.
To this I will end and link to a story I wrote a long time ago and before I came to all these conclusions. About The Scientist who studies the repeatedly exploding atom?

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