{"id":83,"date":"2011-10-30T06:04:38","date_gmt":"2011-10-30T06:04:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/001yourtranslationservice.com\/Christ-loves-WP\/?p=83"},"modified":"2011-10-30T06:04:38","modified_gmt":"2011-10-30T06:04:38","slug":"what-is-the-purpose-of-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/001yourtranslationservice.com\/Christ-loves-WP\/2011\/10\/30\/what-is-the-purpose-of-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"What is the Purpose of Marriage?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Thanks very much for your email. To tell you the truth, my parents are forcing me to marry since they think that I am getting old.( I am 25 years). However, I do not really know why\u00a0 I should marry. Would you please tell me what the purpose of mariage is?<\/em><\/p>\n

Hi Ali, I’m 44, never been married, many times I can’t imagine getting married, but if I ever were to get married it would be because I met a girl I loved and decided I’d like to spend the rest of my life with her. Not because I felt I should to satisfy other people’s opinion about me. That is a bad reason to get married and you may be subjecting yourself to pain and misery for the rest of your life. I would not suggest it. It is your life, not your parents. Karel<\/p>\n

Nothing in the world is smaller than words to express my thanks and appreciation for your nice e-mail. I do appreciate your way of thinking and wish other people, including my parents thought like you. In your email, you mentioned that you are still SINGLE, although you are 44. I have a personal question for you. How do you control your lost? To tell you the truth, it is really difficult for me to do such a job.<\/em><\/p>\n

well, its a rather personal question, but I figured someone was going to ask me this question one day, and its a pretty valid and important question. In any case, at one point in my life I was scared by a legalistic church enough that I prayed and managed to contain my lust (for a period of six months). At one point I even remember waking up one evening after feeling what seemed to me like a spirit in my groin area which seemed to neutralize my lusts and I felt spiritual contentment. Paul speaks in the bible of a thorn in his flesh which keeps bothering him, and the response given to him is that “the Spirit should be enough”, or something like that. So it is possible to overcome this temptation. On the other hand the bible says “it is better to marry than to burn with passion”, but it also says that it is better not to marry at all, if possible.<\/p>\n

This is the ideal solution. However, at some point I decided I do not want to cripple myself with this constant lust, and I do not want to marry some<\/em> woman just for the purpose of extinguishing my burning passion. I do not want to go through like mentally struggling with my burning flesh, so I simply relieve it whenever I get the urge. I did not create my body this way and I do not want to torment myself trying to control it constantly. I perceive it like going to the washroom. There is some pressure building up and it is a natural process to get rid of it. Perhaps I am making myself less holy, as is explained in the first few books of the Old Testament, but I do not feel that God will sentence me to eternal damnation of burning fires of hell because of this. I believe there are things that God hates more, as he lists 6 or 7 things at one point in the bible, and these are a lying tongue, a deceiving brother, and things like that. But occasionally legalistic churches will try to push this guilt on you and burden you with this yoke. I do not believe it is God’s great goal to burden us with such nonsense but rather to set us free and for us to be happy. Not to live a life crippled under fear and the yoke of guilt.<\/p>\n

Sometimes I’ll be working on my computer and my mind will start to fill with fantasies of women. So much so that it increasingly starts to distract me from my work and I start to slow down and become less productive. So I relieve myself with my fantasies, a simple one minute operation, and then I can go back to my work without being bothered by these lusts. As opposed to relieving myself with a woman or a wife, who will costs me WAY more than one minute of time a day, nagging me for endless attention and more flowers, and responsibilities that I am supposed to fulfill. I do love women, but I have decided I simply do not need the headache, unless I find a woman that is worth it. Other times I might find a girl and be with her for a while, even though I know she is not “the one” and that I will not want to remain with her forever. I understand that this too is not the ideal of the bible, but I let her know my feelings, we are faithful to each other while we are going out, and again I do not feel that God will sentence me to eternal damnation because of this. None of us can be perfect, but I constantly strive to perfect myself and get closer to God. But I will not cripple myself in guilt for however far I fall short of the glory of God. Perhaps I am arrogant, but I am trying anyway and frequently pray to God<\/a> to help me get closer to him, to teach me how to praise him, and how to walk the Way and so forth. I believe that God is Love, as the bible says, and his intention is for us to be happy \u2013 not to cripple us with guilt as some legalists would argue.<\/p>\n

Perhaps men like Jesus, Gandhi and Nicolai Tesla are, to a certain degree, my mentors. These men chose to be single because they realized they can accomplish more in life or serve God<\/a> more fully by being single and not burden their lives with constant nagging and demands. I noticed also that whenever I had a girlfriend I would practically no longer read the bible<\/a>. All my free time was consumed entertaining her. Of course I enjoyed the company, I am still good friends with most of my previous girlfriends, but eventually it got to the point that they wanted to get married and start a family, while I remained where I was at the beginning (not wanting to start a family with them or commit myself to them forever). To be fair, that is why I always tell them these feelings at the very beginning of our relationship. But women are of such consternation that, when they fall in love, they ignore these warnings and hope that I will eventually change my mind. But it is not my consternation to change my mind.<\/p>\n

So we end up in a drawn out relationship for up to three years and eventually I decided that I should probably make a greater effort to avoid a relationship with a female, so that I do not cause them pain. On the other hand, my impression is that my girlfriends are happy that they have known me and do not consider it a waste of that portion of their life. They simply want more. So we eventually depart and we are still good friends.<\/p>\n

Anyway, it is my personal decision to be single. I can accomplish a lot more work, and I want to accomplish more in my life. It is my personal decision. I want to help homeless children and I do not consider starting a family particularly accomplishing anything special. There is six billion of us on the planet, and we are destroying it with our over consumption. In their wisdom the Chinese put a cap on families at only one child. I think I am doing greater good for the planet by working hard, earning more money and being like a father to a whole house or building of homeless children than by squeezing more children into this already crowded world. But I am not judging people who start a family. They on the other hand should not judge me. I believe that most people start a family for their own selfish reasons \u2013 they want to build their own kingdom on earth, rule it, surround themselves with cheery little children, dictate their childrens’ lives, and be happy. There is nothing altruistic about these aspirations, although many would like to believe that it is an altruistic and noble idea. Sure, starting a family does require commitment and sacrifice, and if you are not properly committed to your family then you are selfish and irresponsible, but such sacrifice does not represent altruism. If I want to start a business and make it successful, I have to commit myself to it and sacrifice all sorts of time and pleasures to make it work. This is not altruism but simply a decision to sacrifice one thing so I can achieve another \u2013 for my own personal goals.<\/p>\n

Anyway, whatever you choose or however you decide to live your life, this should be your decision, or at most something between you and God. Of course we also have to consider other people in our equations, because we are a social creature and we live shoulder to shoulder beside six billion others, and our immediate family, peers, and colleagues at work. But when considering them, that might include such things as not walking through them etc. It certainly should have nothing to do with our decision to marry or not. It’s like this village where I am staying at the moment. It is cold now inBulgaria, yet I grew up inCanada(used to much colder), I am a sporty person, I have a high metabolism, with good blood circulation and a strong heart, and I am simply comfortable wearing shorts. People look at me strangely because I still wear shorts, no socks and sandals in the dead of winter, but it is my funny way of protesting against the cold, I am not even cold, and within one minute I am back indoors, and comfortable in my shorts. Otherwise, if I were to fear people’s judgements against me, go to the trouble of putting on pants before I step outside, and put on socks, and then shoes, and then tie my shoes, as opposed to just slipping on sandals and stepping outside, I would find myself sweating in the pub. Why should I do that? Just because I care or fear what people think about me? So not only do I protest against the cold, in my funny way, but I also protest against small minded people who actually have to spend their energies passing judgement on me for such petty and ridiculous things as the way I look, or the fact that I wear shorts when it is cold. I find such small village mentality absurd and I refuse to let my decisions and life be swayed by such narrow-minded people. And because I am adamant and persist in my beliefs, I find I attract like-minded people who admire me because of my individuality and persistence. So I end up spending my time with people I consider real and whose company I enjoy and not wasting my time fretting about what all the petty people in the world might think about me.<\/p>\n

My impression is that your parents are concerned about their social stature, and perhaps are embarrassed because you are “so old” and yet still unmarried. Or they want to have little grandchildren running around their house on the weekends. These are all selfish motives \u2013 their selfish motives \u2013 and should not sway your decision concerning something as important as love or who with or whether you choose to remain with someone for the rest of your life.<\/p>\n

Hope I’ve helped you a bit. Stand firm. It is your life. Some might argue that this type of thinking is selfish, but how on earth can you serve your parents by marrying someone? Such notions are absolute nonsense.<\/p>\n

Please do not post my response anywhere on the internet because it helps my pages and helps others find me, so that they could ask me questions and I in turn answer them and hopefully help them like hopefully I’ve helped you.<\/p>\n

Take care, Karel<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Thanks very much for your email. To tell you the truth, my parents are forcing me to marry since they think that I am getting old.( I am 25 years). However, I do not really know why\u00a0 I should marry. Would you please tell me what the purpose of mariage is? 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