Got home kind of late today and felt an inkling to check my email. A bit tired right now and feel I could give you a better answer in the morning but love this stuff so much that would rather answer you right now.
My first thought that came to my head was:
What sprung to my mind is that you are suffering from a classic example of too many thorns growing up around you and preventing you from enjoying the beautiful and humble splendour of God. “The lowest will become the highest and the highest the lowest. The valleys shall become mountains and the mountains valleys. The exalted unexalted and the unexalted exalted.” Perhaps you seek God and don’t exalt yourself but my impression (which could easily be wrong) is that your financial worries have grown to strangle you and have prevented you from worshipping God as you should. Perhaps you have focused on material things and have used the financial instruments of the beast to maximise your present purchasing power (based on assumed future earnings) to achieve the greatest possible present material wealth and have stumbled, from your own desire for such things, into a trap of dreadful thorns. Now you call for God for help when, all the time, he has been asking you, for your own good, to concentrate on the simpler things in life. God loves you and will do all that he can to make your life as fulfilling and beautiful as possible, but perhaps it is difficult for him when you focus instead on other things. Symbolically, in the bible, these other things may be considered as idols. You may be worshipping certain idols more, as the car you had to finance, and the house you had to take out a mortgage for, etc. etc., feeding the thorns ever so more for your material wealth until you have choked yourself. Now the devil, in glee, grips his fist, clenched around your throat, and watches you as you struggle between deciding whether you should give up some of your personal wealth (or more than some) so that you could pursue a more meaningful, humble and fulfilling relationship with God, or otherwise hold onto your worldly desires and ambitions and let the devil frolic and toy with your life.
Therefore, I pray the following: that God save you from your present situation, because he loves you more than any earthly mother or father ever could, but that, at the same time, you realise that you may be leading yourself into this trap and that it is not the best idea to ask God to save you when you do not listen to his advice. I could easily be wrong. These things just come to my mind. I pray that your situation will be resolved and that you will end up with a beautiful life and a beautiful relationship with God, in peace and happiness. Christ was content and full of love, yet he had nothing.
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